108. Get Dressed

He put on his underwear. He put on his slacks. He put a belt through the belt loops in his slacks. He put on a pair of black socks. Then he put on his brown shoes. He tied the shoelaces. He stood up and walked over to his closet. He found a short-sleeve golf shirt. It was blue and white. He pulled it on over his head. He tucked the shirt into his slacks. He zipped up his slacks and buckled his belt. He looked at himself in the mirror. He buttoned the three buttons on his golf shirt. He made sure the collar lay flat. He put his keys and wallet in his pocket. He left his apartment.

92. I Want to Swim

“When will you teach me how to swim?” she asked. “I am afraid of drowning. I am afraid of deep water. I am afraid of going on boats. I am afraid of flying in planes over the ocean. I want to learn how to swim.” “You don’t need to learn how to swim,” her husband said. “All you need to learn is how to float. Floating is so easy. It’s especially easy for women, because women have more fat than men. Let me give you a quick lesson. To float, lie on your back. Look up at the sky. Spread your arms and legs. Breathe normally. That’s it.” “Yes, that sounds easy,” she said. “But I want to learn how to swim. Swimming is good exercise. Swimming will help me lose weight. Floating will not help me lose weight. If I float for a day, I won’t lose any weight at all.” “Okay,” he said. “I will teach you how to swim this weekend. It will take only a couple of hours. By Saturday night you will be able to swim like a fish.”

93. A New Law

Ed was riding his bicycle. A dog started chasing him. He yelled at the dog. Then he tried to kick the dog. He lost his balance. He fell off his bike. His head hit the curb. A neighbor saw him fall. She dialed 911. An ambulance arrived. It took Ed to the emergency room. But it was too late. The doctors could not save him. Ed died. Ed was the son of the governor of Texas. The governor and his wife were very sad. The governor didn’t want other children to die. He didn’t want other parents to suffer. He didn’t want them to lose their children. He talked to the state lawmakers. He asked them to pass a new law to protect children. The lawmakers agreed. They were parents, too. They passed a new law to protect children. The governor signed the new law. The new law was a helmet law. Children had to wear a helmet when they rode a bike, or a sled, or a horse. They had to wear a helmet when they snowboarded or skateboarded. “Texas is now a safe state for children,” said the governor. “Maybe we’re safe,” said one boy, “but we’re not happy. Helmets suck.”

94. She Plays Golf

“What time does the football game start?” John asked. “It starts at 3 o’clock. What time are you coming over here?” Mark asked. John said he would be there at 2 o’clock. Then he said goodbye and hung up the phone. He had to go to the post office to mail a birthday card. His daughter’s birthday was next week. The birthday card showed a woman golfer with a big smile on her face. The card said, “A birthday is like a hole-in-one!” Sharon was almost 25. Before she graduated from high school, she had received a golf scholarship to college. It was a 4-year scholarship. It paid for all her college expenses. She was on the golf team for four years. After college, Sharon became a professional golfer. She traveled all over the country playing golf. Once she won a tournament. She was not the best woman golfer, but she was good. She was in the top 10 every year. She usually made about $100,000 a year. She was also having fun. John was happy about his daughter’s success. He was proud of his daughter. “That’s my girl,” he told his friends.

95. The Fat Actress

Beth was a famous singer and a famous actress. Everyone wanted her autograph. Everyone took pictures of her. She was 26 years old. She had a great body. She was slim and pretty. She was also divorced. She had one child. His name was Charley. He was six years old. A movie actor loved Beth. William was fat and old, but he was rich and smart. He asked Beth out to dinner. She went to dinner with him. They had dinner many times. Then he invited her to his private island. She took Charley with her. They stayed on the island for almost a year. William asked Beth to marry him. They got married on his island. Then she returned to Hollywood to make a new movie. Nobody in Hollywood recognized her at first. “Do I know you?” everyone asked. They didn’t recognize Beth because she had gained about 80 pounds. People said she was too fat. They said she wasn’t pretty anymore. She said she didn’t care. “My husband is fat, and he likes me fat,” she said. “If you don’t like me fat, I don’t care. I will go back to my island and eat all I want. I don’t need Hollywood. I have a husband and a son who love me. What more could a woman want?”

96. A Tornado

It was a warm spring day. It was sunny, but a storm was coming. The sky turned dark gray. Then a black funnel descended from the sky. The black funnel touched the ground. It was a tornado. A tornado is strong. A tornado picks up cars and trucks. They fly through the air like pieces of paper. The tornado siren blasted. It warned everyone in town to take cover. Everyone gathered their kids and pets. They went downstairs into their basements. A tornado can destroy a house, but the basement is safe. Sometimes a tornado hits a town without warning. A year ago, a man was sitting in his bathtub. He was enjoying his bath. He heard a loud sound. He thought a train was crashing into his house. But he did not live near the railroad tracks. It wasn’t a train. A tornado struck his house without warning. The tornado destroyed the man’s whole house. Suddenly he was taking his bath outside. The roof and walls of his house were gone. His wife came home. At first she cried because her house was gone. Then she laughed. Her husband looked so funny sitting in the tub. He couldn’t leave the tub because he had no clothes. He didn’t want his neighbors to see him without clothes. His wife had a towel in the trunk of her car. She gave him a towel, and he climbed out of the tub. They were both happy that he was alive.

97. Two Men

About 10 customers were in the small restaurant. It was late at night. Jenny and David were sitting at a table in the corner. They both worked for the same supermarket. They liked their jobs. They worked together, and they had fun together. They went to church together. They planned to get married and live together. They were saving their money for a house. They wanted to buy a new house in a nice neighborhood. But they needed a down payment. They needed $30,000 for a down payment. They had saved $16,000. They needed $14,000 more. Then they would buy their new house. They were eating their soup. Two men walked into the restaurant. They shouted at someone. Then they pulled out guns. They started shooting. David pushed Jenny to the floor. He covered her with his body. The gunmen stopped shooting and walked out of the restaurant. The restaurant was quiet. Someone started to cry. Two people were dead. One was the cashier. The other was the manager.

98. A Big Cat

The mountains are beautiful. But they can be dangerous. Yesterday a mountain lion attacked a woman. The woman was walking on a trail with her friend. The trail was in the mountains. Donna was walking in front of Linda. They were walking uphill on the mountain trail. The mountain lion jumped out of the bushes. It attacked Donna. Donna screamed. Linda hit the mountain lion with her backpack. The mountain lion grabbed the backpack with its mouth. It ran into the bushes with the backpack. Both women sat on the trail. They were crying. Donna’s nose and ears were bleeding. About five minutes later, a man walked up. He asked them what happened. He had a cell phone. He dialed 911. But his cell phone did not work in the mountains. He said he would get help. He ran back down the trail. Donna was afraid to stay in the mountains. So was Linda. They got up and slowly walked down the trail. They held hands. They did not say a word. They kept looking around and behind them. They were so afraid. They jumped when they heard a strange sound. Was the mountain lion following them?

99. He Loved Her

The man set the woman on fire. She was a dancer in a night club. The man came to the night club once a month. He asked the woman for her phone number. She said no. “I don’t even know you,” she said. “Why would I give you my phone number?” He told her that he was in love with her. She told him that he was crazy. How could he be in love with her? He didn’t even know her. He didn’t know anything about her. He finished his drink and paid for it. He left the night club. He sat in his car in the parking lot. She was glad that he left. Later she went outside to smoke a cigarette. The man got out of his car. She did not see him or hear him. He poured gasoline on her and threw a match on her. She was on fire. She started screaming. She ran into the night club. The manager put the fire out with his jacket. But her face and hands were badly burnt. No one would ever ask for her phone number again.

83. Things to Do

He has a list of things to do. He has to go to the bank. He needs some cash. He needs to get some cash from the ATM at the bank. He has only $10 in his wallet. Then he has to go to the post office. He needs stamps. He has to buy a book of stamps. There are 20 stamps in each book. A book costs $8.40. Then he needs to go to DMV. He needs to get a new driver’s license. His old license will expire in a month. He needs to get a new photo, too. Finally he needs to go to Best Buy. His girlfriend wants the DVD of Season 4 of “Lost.” She loves that TV show. It’s about people who are on an island. Their plane crashed onto the island. It is a strange island. It has strange animals and strange people. It has black smoke that chases people and kills them. Everything that happens is a big surprise. It is a crazy TV show.

84. Daddy Is Watching

“Let’s go to the beach, Daddy,” Susan suggested. “That sounds like a good idea,” her daddy replied. It was a hot, sunny day. The ocean was only two blocks away. Susan went into her room. She put on her swimsuit. She grabbed a big beach towel. She put on a hat and grabbed her sunglasses. She put on her flip-flops. “I’m ready, Daddy,” she said. “Do you have any sunscreen?” he asked. “No, I forgot. Where is it?” she asked. He told her it was in the top drawer in the bathroom. She went into the bathroom and opened the drawer. “I’ve got it,” she said. They walked outside. The sun was bright. Susan put on her sunglasses. She loved to wear her sunglasses. They made her look like an adult. She gave the beach towel to her dad. She grabbed her dad’s hand and they started walking. Ten minutes later they were at the beach. It was crowded. Dad found a spot. He put the beach towel on the sand. Susan took off her hat and sunglasses. She ran into the water. Dad watched her play in the water. She was having fun. Suddenly a wave knocked her over. She went under water. Dad ran into the water. He pulled her up. “Daddy, I almost drowned,” Susan said. “No, you didn’t,” he said. “That wave only knocked you over. Don’t worry. I’m watching you.”

85. It Looks Like Rain

The TV weatherman says a lot of things. He gives us a lot of information. He says it will be hot and sunny. He says it will be cold and rainy. We will get showers. We will get two inches of rain. We will get three inches of snow. The temperature tonight will go down to 50 degrees. The temperature tomorrow will be 73 degrees. The sun will rise at 6:30. The sun will set at 6:15. The beaches will have early morning fog. A winter storm is coming. The mountains will have snow. The waves at the beach will be high. The Santa Ana winds are coming. It will be hot and windy. We must be careful. We must watch for fires. The TV weatherman goes on and on. He talks and talks. He tells us everything about the weather. He has pretty pictures and maps. He points at the maps. He has lots of fancy technology. We don’t have fancy technology. We don’t need fancy technology. If we want to know what the weather is like, we just look out the window.

86. An Old Dog

“Rex is very sick,” Lucy’s mom said. “Is he going to die?” Lucy asked. “Yes, I’m afraid so,” mom said. “I’m going to take him to the vet.” Lucy wanted to go along. “Okay, but try not to cry, okay?” mom asked. Lucy said she wouldn’t cry. Mom carried Rex out to the car. She put him in the back seat. He was a little dog. He was 12 years old. He was the same age as Lucy. They drove to the vet. The vet looked at Rex. He said he could not do anything for Rex. “Rex is on his last legs,” the vet said. He told mom she could take Rex home and wait for him to die. Or the vet could simply put Rex to sleep. “Let’s put him to sleep,” Lucy said. “That way he won’t suffer.” Mom said that was a good idea. They left Rex with the vet. “We can get another dog for you if you want,” mom told Lucy on the way home. “Can we get a kitten instead?” Lucy asked.

87. New York City

“I’m moving to New York,” she said. “Will you come with me or not?” She loved New York. She loved the subways. She loved the buses. She could walk or take a taxi anywhere. She didn’t have to drive anywhere. No more driving, like in Los Angeles. She hated driving in Los Angeles. New York has tall buildings. It has busy streets and sidewalks. It has Broadway. It has Times Square. It has Central Park. It has Wall Street. It has restaurants on every block. It has delivery people. “You can buy anything, and they will deliver it in 20 minutes,” she said. “You will have problems in New York,” he said. He told her she would freeze in the winter. She would bake in the summer. New York was too expensive. It was too crowded. It was a target for terrorists. They would blow up the whole city. It was noisy. It was dirty and dangerous. “Are you coming or not?” she asked again. “Of course I’m coming,” he answered. “Why wouldn’t I?”

88. He Climbs Trees

“It’s time to go to bed,” Danny’s mom said. “But I’m not sleepy,” Danny complained. He wasn’t sleepy because he had taken a nap before dinner. He had slept for almost one hour. Before his nap, he was in the park. He liked to go to the park. The park was full of trees. He loved to climb the trees. His mom told him not to climb the trees. He might fall and hurt himself. He didn’t obey his mom. It was fun to climb trees. It was fun to climb higher and higher. It was fun to be taller than adults. It was fun to look down on the adults. One time he found a bird’s nest. It was empty. He would visit it again in spring time. Maybe baby birds would be in the nest. Danny always went to the park after school. The trees in the park were like a second home to him. His mom said that maybe he was part monkey. He kissed his mom and said good night. Once in bed, he counted trees so that he could go to sleep.

89. A Drunk Driver

The policeman saw the car. The car was speeding. Richard was driving the car. The speed limit was 35 mph. Richard’s car was going 50 mph. The policeman turned on his siren and flashing lights. He caught up to Richard. But Richard didn’t pull over. Richard was drunk. He was drinking a cold beer. He was listening to loud music. He was having a good time. Finally he noticed the siren and flashing lights behind him. Richard pulled over. He stopped the car and turned off the engine. He threw the can of beer out the window. The cop walked up to the car. He picked up the can of beer. “Is this yours?” he asked. “No, sir,” Richard said. “It’s cold,” the cop said. “There’s still some beer in this can. I bet your fingerprints are on this can.” The cop told Richard to get out of the car. He told him to tilt his head back and close his eyes. He told him to touch his nose with his finger. Richard got dizzy. He lost his balance. He started to fall. The cop grabbed him. He put Richard into the back seat of his police car. He told Richard, “You shouldn’t drink and drive.” “I know that,” Richard said. “Everybody knows that,” said the cop. “But they still drink and drive.”

90. A Wedding

“Tomorrow will be the best day of my life,” Betty said. “Yes, it will be,” said her mom. “I’m so happy for you. Paul is such a good man. He will make a great husband and father. And he’s so nice. Your dad and I both love him.” Betty met Paul after she broke her leg. She broke her leg skiing. Paul was the doctor who fixed her leg. He visited her every day in the hospital. Then he visited her at home. He brought her Get Well cards and gifts. They fell in love with each other. “I never thought a broken leg would be a good thing,” Betty told her mom. “But it was the best thing that ever happened to you. Life is strange sometimes,” her mom said. After Betty’s leg healed, she and Paul started dating. They went to movies and restaurants. They went to the beach. They even went skiing. They were so happy together. One day Paul asked Betty to marry him. “Can we have lots of kids?” she asked. “Of course,” he said. “But let ME teach them how to ski.” They both laughed.

91. Peanuts and Ham

“Do you have salted peanuts?” Joe asked. “Yes, we do,” said the store manager. “They’re at the end of aisle 4. They’re next to the potato chips. You can’t miss them.” Joe thanked the manager. He pushed his shopping cart down aisle 4. He saw some jars of pickles. Pickles would taste good with a ham sandwich. He put a jar in his shopping cart. He continued down the aisle. He saw packages of bread. He needed bread to make a ham sandwich. He put a loaf of bread in his cart. He got to the end of the aisle. He saw the bags of roasted peanuts. The peanuts were in their shells. Unsalted peanuts were in the bags with the blue label. Salted peanuts were in the bags with the red label. All the bags were the same price. He put a bag of salted peanuts in his cart. Salted peanuts are not as healthy as unsalted peanuts. But salted peanuts taste a lot better. He went to aisle 5. That was the aisle with sliced ham. He put a package of sliced ham into his cart. He went up front to the cashier. He gave the cashier $20 and got his change. He couldn’t wait to get home. He was hungry for peanuts, pickles, and a ham sandwich.

74. I Have a Question

How high is up? Why is the sky blue? Do fish sleep? Where do babies come from? How do ships float? How do planes stay in the air? Why are you laughing? Why are you crying? Are we there yet? What do I care? Who’s there? Who’s calling? Who’s at the door? Where are you from? Where do you live? Where is my pencil? Who won? Who lost? Who’s playing? Do I know you? Have we met? What was your name again? Do you have the time? What time is it? What day is it? What is the date? How are you? How do you do? What do you do? How old are you? How tall are you? How much do you weigh? Are you married? Do you have any children? Do you love me? Can you hear me? Can you see me? What’s that smell? What are you cooking? Can I borrow your pencil? Can I borrow $5? What are you watching? What’s on TV?

75. Do This, Daddy Says

Look both ways before you cross the street. Wear clean underwear. Do your homework. Be polite. Obey your parents. Go to school. Stay in school. Wash your hands. Wipe your nose. Wipe your feet. Wash your face. Brush your teeth. Take the dog for a walk. Clean the cat’s litter box. Be a good boy. Be a good girl. Turn down the TV. Turn off the TV. Stand up straight. Chew with your mouth closed. Close the door. Do as I say, not as I do. Mind your manners. Be nice to your brother. Be nice to your sister. Watch your brother. Play with your sister. Be patient. Study. Listen to your teachers. Keep trying. Sit down on the bus. Buckle your seat belt. Try this. Try these. Change your clothes. Put on a clean shirt. Get dressed. Get into your pajamas. Go to your room. Clean up your room. Make your bed. Go to bed. Kiss your mommy good night. Say Thank You. Say Please. Say You’re Welcome. Say your prayers.